Older Still

I know this is late...but I wanted to riff off from what Adam was saying about the Nat Turner drawings. After looking at them i had to put them down, get a beer, and breathe; they are horrifically gruesome and to think that men have the capacity to not only allow this to happen but also participate in it perverts my perception of confidence in the human heart. Upon looking at them, I wondered to myself, I said, "Self, you don't believe in God or even a religion for that matter, but after this horrendous process these Africans are still able to find the courage to believe. How does that happen?" I have been pondering this question for a while now, and i don't understand it. I don't understand how, after all the killing and beating and crying, a person can believe in anything. My will would have been broken, but them i thought about why it would be broken; because i would have had nothing left. In this sense there is no where to go but up, and that may be one reason for why they believed. You must have some sort of hope that this nightmare will all end and i believe that is what they did. This promise of life after death in heaven, it is pretty enticing compared to their current position; however, it is still disheartening for one to read about a life that is worse than death.
Another thing that i found shocking and saddening was the youtube video that Theo provided for us. If you haven't watched it already i recommend that you do so immediately. I feel so naive when i see things like this. It is true that i know nothing of the black struggle in America, shit i grew up in a town with almost literally no other ethnicity than Caucasian. The first black person i have ever spoken to, is presently my girlfriend, and still i have not recognized these problems people are faced with everyday. I am oblivious and this video was an eye opener for me, to see children, children, picking out white babies and saying they wish they were white was heart-breaking. This class is definitely broadening my scope on the world, especially the social aspect of it. I hope that someday this changes permanently, i hope there is a reason for children to be proud of who they are. I wish this day was yesterday.

-nick-